Meredith Brooks - Bitch

PMS female ahead!

I am officially on strike......from what? From spending any more of my hard earned money buying my favorite thing -EROTIC ROMANCE BOOKS! I spend way to much money(we are talking about 100.00 a month-I know, I know; don't judge I love to read) to constantly get my self-esteem smacked around. Now I know this is fiction and the purpose of reading these books is to escape into another world. But how am I ever to put myself in the shoes of the heroine if they are constantly described as "tiny, but beautifully made-with long blond hair and big blue eyes". This is a direct quote out of not one but 3 different stories by 3 different author!!! In a world(the real one) the average American female is a size 12 and between 5'5 and 5'6. I want to read a story that has some basis in reality, now unfortunately I am not average I am 5'9 and a size 18. I have brown hair and green eyes. I do not think that I ugly just normal looking(I wish I was beautiful but this is not my lot in life.....damn it!). My other complaint is that the hero is always described as "a giant" over 6'6", now call me crazy but if he is that tall and the heroine is 5'2" that is nearly a foot and a half difference in height! How in the world can their important part line up.......?? Think about it this way if it was an average size guy (say  6 foot even) and then (using the same size scale) this would make the female 4'8", that is like the size of 12 year old GIRL!!!!!! Now tell me that thought is not disturbing? I understand the need to make the heroine feel "feminine"  and bring out the protectiveness of the ALPHA male, but I still think this can be done with a female that is a bit larger, and really if the woman is that small a male that is 6'  would still be able to bring that idea across. I just think that tall and large size women deserve to feel feminine as well, I mean how often in the real world do we get to be made to feel like a beautiful fragile flower, when we are this large?? So for now I will be re-reading my favorite stories and spending my money elsewhere........not that it will change anything in the world of romance writing but maybe it stop me from feeling so worthless and unappreciated! Or maybe this is just me being overly emotional  brought on by "that time of the month"!!  ADIOS

Karma-she's a bitch

As we walk through life we make choices, choices that meet our needs and are not necessarily in the best interest of those around us. While I have made my walk I have selfishly stepped on the rights of others to meet my needs, I have taken things that were not mine to take, I have lied to hide what I did or who I am, I have made decisions for others that were not in my right to make because it served my needs. I wouldn’t classify myself as selfish but often I have taken the easy way or the way that best served me, without really thinking how these decisions would affect others involved. So to those that have been affected by my choices I’d like to say “I am sorry”. I know that that does not make things right nor do I expect to be forgive for any harm that my choices have caused to you. I believe that Karma has sought divine retribution for the wrongs I have caused whether it was intentional or not. And I believe that I will continue to reap that which I have sown. Because there is no way to reach all those that have been hurt by me I am putting this out into the universe in hopes that some how you will know that I am sorry and in the end I got what I deserved.